Wednesday, June 13, 2007

But its not ok to beat your children

Sadly it appears as if this is no longer common sense anymore. Parents are so worried about saving their children from every hardship, they fail to notice its hardship that teaches us the most important lessons.


OJ said...

I'm not a parent (yet), but it's fairly plain to see that so many other parents have failed to notice that a good bit of discipline is what's required to keep the kids in line.

I'm not advocating beating children. But I can tell you from experience that when I was young, I understood I'd done something wrong when my butt-cheeks were stinging. I learned more from that than I would have had I spend a few minutes on the "timeout mat". :)

R. McDougall said...

Well Ill be a parent in a couple months, so heres hoping I can figure it all out. :)

I think discipline is 100% necessary. All people need boundaries -- children just figuring out the world even more so.

But discipline is the last resort when children cross the boundaries that have been clearly laid out for them. If you resort too quickly to discipline, or if you've failed to make the rules clear, understandable, just, and fair, then you're the one failing your end of the bargain.

But I would never use corporal punishment on my children. I remember profoundly the impact corporal punishment had on me the few times it was used. I remember feeling intensely betrayed and angry, seeking revenge. But then again I was the kind of kid that one could mostly speak with, and carried around a strong sense of what was just.

Im hoping if I start out right, setting clear boundaries, my children will be the kind that respect what their parents say because that respect had been throughly demonstrated and earned since birth.

Aside from that, the article was on letting your kids do semi-dangerous things while they're little, so the are experienced in assessing danger as an adult, when the stakes are higher. ;)